Saturday, September 6, 2008

Citadelle Fruit Cola | Taste of the Islands

I know my prolonged absence has left a cold and miserable hole in so many of your lives. My secretary's been reading and rereading several letters addressed from concerned followers. A few have even brought me to tears, which is a feeling I can only compare with my time spent in the woods with these people. You see, it's not that we here at Weekly Fizz have been lazy. It's just that we've been taking the private jet out, and much like Bruce Brown we've traveled the world over in search of The Perfect Cola. Yeah, that's it.

Last week we landed in Jamaica to stock up on several sodas we've reviewed in the past, and came across a new one. The rather nonspecific Citadelle Fruit Cola, our interns found, takes a relatively new approach in giving drinkers a chance to decide for themselves what it is they're actually tasting. You see, the people at Citadelle don't bother claiming their drink is "The Real Thing" nor do they go with cocky simple one-word slogans like "Enjoy." No sir. This forward-thinking marketing team has used the skilled illustration seen below- a sunset behind a lovely pair of palm trees- to convey the joy and serenity one felt the first time they swam in the deep end without parental supervision.

My colleague mentioned it tasted like cotton candy. I suggest you drink this one the same way we did, and decide the emotional landscape behind what you're tasting. Make sure to put on some Saul Williams and preheat the oven to 450 and cook that Totino's Triple Meat in style.