Thursday, September 24, 2009

Filmography, Future Colas, & Lab Coats

Breaking News: A nice-looking short film titled The Red Ace Cola Project is playing at Sidewalk Film Festival this weekend in Birmingham, AL. I'm pretty sure the entire Weekly Fizz staff (me) will be there on Saturday 1:30pm at the Alabama Theater.

It’s 1955 and artificial flavors, TV dinners and space-age foods are all the rage. The International Foods and Flavors Company has just hired its first woman flavorist, Dr. Elizabeth McCovovich. Elizabeth's dream is to work in the lab with her idol, resident big man flavorist Dr. John Comden, but she soon discovers that Dr. Comden would rather her be a secretary than a scientist. Determined to prove herself as a flavorist, Elizabeth must beat out her boss and everyone else to create a new formula for Red Ace Cola, the “cola of the future."

Friday, August 28, 2009

Zooce | Japanese Translator For Hire

Zooce Sparkling is a new beverage from Japan that is very hip and very now. Teens and tweens have been drinking it while skateboarding and listening to hip-hop, or so we've read. American adults like us couldn't be more jealous of both the packaging and the taste, so we are begging our young overseas friends to lend us some. Guess we'll be sticking to our Metamucil and Grape Nuts until that time comes.

Look at the colorful animals. It's okay. Go ahead and touch them. They won't bite. Okay, so the leopard-spotted elephant probably might run you over, but only if you forget to feed his buddy the star-spangled moose. The plaid squirrel is harmless, as long as you promise to keep your hands off his nuts.
Now pour yourself a glass. Notice the light taste. Very fruity, right? Kind of like a new sort of hybrid juice/soda? Clear and sparkling and good, isn't it? Unlike many of the beloved sodas in our repertoire, this one goes down smooth, not even leaving behind a an afterparty mess in our bellies.
Zooce comes from the Suntory group. It's difficult to find any English information on the soda (so by all means, tell us what you know). My colleague reminded me of the Bill Murray scene from Lost in Translation where he films a Suntory whiskey commercial. And that, friends, is about all we got.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Yike's Showdown | 3 The Hard Way

Since a certain serialized young adult novel is merely a few days from being finis, kaput, ende, no mas ... some of you have been buzzing in at the Hottline (1-800-MORE-SODURR) to ask the inevitable: "When will our phavorite alterna-sodablog be delivered more phrequentlee?"
The answer is: "¡Sí, Se Puede!" Weekly Phizz should go back to being ... err (fingers crossed) ... more weekly. But that's assuming no phatal illnesses or unwanted houseguests find their way to our lair. And what better way to celebrate this unanticipated trium-fant return than a healthy co-ed game of laser tag? OK, we lied. No lazrtagg. We here at the W.F. Offices, L.L.C. are more than a wee bit scared of the dark. Give us our night-night and a Louisville Slugger 'neath the pillow and we can only hope morning comes without enduring a panic attakk.
What I really meant to say was ... what better way to celebrate the return of WF than a YIKE'S SHOWDOWN! We're sipping all three beautiful bottles pictured on the upper left, blindpholded, wearing straightjacketz and suspenderz, then writing the way we pheel inside. (Ed. note: We already feal pretty good. Not only are certain old trends currently getting replaced with lengthy naps and uninterrupted reading sessions, but, just take a look at the near-perfect coloration on those beauts! Wouldn't YOU feel good?)
Here we grow with Numero Uno. Blindfolds on. No peeking. Peach Pop tastes like sailing on pink clouds. And not being dead, but very much alive. The peach flavor tastes far from overbearing and, well, tasty. Next, please. Blue Bubble Gum Pop is like one might imagine only 50 times bettr. It's diving from a board into a pool philled with bubblegum, cream soda, blueberries and pool chemicals — a feeling one wishes would last forevr. Green Apple Pop, however, is jollyranchier. I do not like green apples and ham, Sam-I-Am, so maybe you should talk to someone who duzz. In the next focus group meeting we'll be referring to this one as the greenheaded stepchild, and plotting ways to humiliate it in publick.
(Vanna, where'd you run off to? We need you to announce that BLUE is the winner. Vanna, are you dead?) It was not quite a foto phinnish, but several pheet behind came LE PEACH (4th from the last, in bowling lingo). And sorry, green apple. We hate you.
So we'll give you — the audience — a brief cirius history lesson and then we be dunn. Yike's flavors are certainly what you might call rare. The soda is "produced exclusively for EZ Mart Stores, Inc." out of Texarkana, TX. It's a shame indeed, because no one in the world should be deprived of the physical greatness of Yike's. Where we got these bottles, howevr, is a mystery. Somewhere in North Alabama or Southern Tennessee, we think. It wasn't at the Boobie Bungalow (at least not if yer children are reading. This blog's got a TV-14 rating.)
**UPDATE:: Steph says Yike's came from the EZ Mart close to her home. Mystery solved!
Thanks for tuning in. C U nexxt week!