Should Guns N' Roses finish their long-delayed album Chinese Democracy sometime this year, we'll all be drinking together. Holding hands, drinking Dr. Pepper, and singing GNR (preferably pre-1994 GNR, of course) together.
In an unprecedented show of solidarity with Axl, everyone in America, except estranged GNR guitarists Slash and Buckethead, will receive a free can of Dr Pepper if the album ships some time -- anytime! -- in 2008. Dr Pepper supports Axl, and fully understands that sometimes you have to make it through the jungle before you get it right.Wow, Doc. You seem to be the only American left that's still carrying the torch for this album. The rest of us are less than optimistic. But that's awfully nice of you. Were Charles Alderton alive today, do you think he'd be a fan? I dunno. I've personally always sort of pictured him curled up next to the speakers playing Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band at mid-volume range, so the neighbors might not get too upset. But who can know for sure.
"It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love," said Jaxie Alt, director of marketing for Dr Pepper. "So we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection -- for something more than the average album. We know once it's released, people will refer to it as "Dr Pepper for the ears" because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds -- an instant classic.
This is an admirable feat of marketing wizardry for all parties involved. Today, folks are once again reminded that, yes, it sure would be great to hear Chinese Democracy before Axl Rose completes his transition into plastic he-beast. Dr. Pepper aren't risking much, since the likelihood of Chinese Democracy arriving this year (hell, this decade) is as slim as it's ever been. And, hey, if Chinese Democracy does, in fact, emerge before 2009? All that sweet Dr. Pepper should help wash down the taste of bitter, bitter disappointment, after nearly twenty years spent waiting for an album that sucks.That seems more like it. Thanks to Cary Norton via the comments for this. We've still got a good eight months to see if anything actually happens. In the event something does, I'll be expecting full testimonials of album and drink from everyone. Well, maybe just album. We already know how good the drink is.